Session beer

It tastes like shitty Heineken and comes in silly bottles. And it's usually only a dollar cheaper than microbrew pints. I'd prefer High Life. I'd prefer MGD. I'd prefer Juicy Juice, cause then I'd at least get nostalgia--memories of fourth grade, when you could drink ass-loads of fake sugar and not feel like you were a moral and nutritional disaster. Which reminds me: I brought margarine on a camping trip recently (it's so cheap it's basically negative money, that makes sense, yes), and two of the people I was with looked at me and sighed. It's not like margarine stabs women!